| the Worst Day of my Life Part 2 |
[Oct. 14th, 2007|03:55 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my unsafe room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | just sniffles | ] |
So today was the Top Gun/Best of the Best Tournament. There were two brackets (2,3, and 4 skill level rankings) and (5,6, and 7 skill level rankings). I was a six, so I was in the upper level. There 36 people in my bracket, and I tied for ninth. I was satisfied with this being my first year and all. SO anywayz, my dad wants me to not have plans tonight so that we can "disappear". By disappear, he means go somewhere and get drunk. Being that I haven't really hung out with him in awhile, I went along with.
I wasn't expecting to be dropped off in old town murrieta, barhopping. I wasn't expecting to designate drive for him and some friends. So what happens? He gets me drunk. We shoot pool. He goes on and on about how he loves losing to me because it's me. Then we're their at 1am with no ride home. He jokes about walking home. I really didn't mind. I would've walked ALL THE WAY home with no problem at all, as long as he didn't wake me up in the morning. So that's when hell breaks loose.
He starts asking me about the Navy. Let me remind you that Old Town Murrieta is probably a good 20 miles from the house at least. He keeps questioning and questioning me over and over. The same fucking questions. He doesn't believe that I'm going to go in. He believes that I'm blaming Jason for not going in. As many times as I try to tell him that I am going to go in, he repeatedly says I've been bullshitting him for nine months, and continues to ask me the same fuckin questions over and over. I finally get so pissed that I yell at him and just run away. He can't catch up. I'm a mile and half AT LEAST in front of him. He calls my cell. I pick up HOPING he's calmed down. I wait for him. He catches up and starts the same shit over and over. He insists we go to a park off a side street in some neighborhood. He insists I beat the shit out of him. I'm a better person than that and tell him I'm not going to do that. He INSISTS. I just stand there with fists clenched and tears running down my cheeks again. At this time, I decide to call my mom because this shit has gone on long enough. I ask her to come pick us up. The whole carride home, it's still the same shit over and over. Nobody knows how hard it was for me not to throw a single punch. To just stand there and let him continue his fuckin sermon. I drank three 22oz glasses of water and he's still babbling. I brush my teeth and start this posting 3x and he's still babbling. He FINALLY decided to go to sleep. It's a little after 4am. I had to deal with that shit for almost 3 fuckin hours...
I need to get out of this fuckin house. It's funny how he stated that he likes the John Legend song "Coming Home" because he hopes to God that we don't leave and never come back. After tonight though, I'm indifferent towards the idea. I can't stand trying to talk to someone who won't listen. I can't stand drunk people AGAIN! I'm tired of this. All the thoughts that went through my head as he continued to speak... I'm not proud of. I would never afflict pain to a family member. Those thoughts I had were on myself, and I was not proud of that at all.
Will someone please shoot me? Please?
-END-
P.S. Cancel my fuckin birthday too. Just doesn't seem worth it to me anymore.... |
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| I'm tired.... |
[Aug. 8th, 2007|03:50 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | pissed off | ] |
LINKIN PARK LYRICS
"Hands Held High"
Turn my mike up louder I got to say something
Light weights step to the side when we come in
Feel it in your chest the syllables get pumping
People on the street they panic and start running
Words on loose leaf sheet complete coming
I jump in my mind and summon the rhyme, I'm dumping
Healing the blind I promise to let the sun in
Sick of the dark ways we march to the drum and
Jump when they tell us that they wanna see jumping
Fuck that I wanna see some fists pumping
Risk something, take back what's yours
Say something that you know they might attack you for
Cause I'm sick of being treated like I have before
Like it's stupid standing for what I'm standing for
Like this war's really just a different brand of war
Like it doesn't cater the rich and abandon poor
Like they understand you in the back of the jet
When you can't put gas in your tank
These fuckers are laughing their way to the bank and cashing the check
Asking you to have compassion and have some respect
For a leader so nervous in an obvious way
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay
And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
In their living room laughing like "what did he say?"
[Chorus]
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen
[End Chorus]
In my living room watching but I am not laughing
Cause when it gets tense I know what might happen
World is cold the bold men take action
Have to react or get blown into fractions
Ten years old it's something to see
Another kid my age drug under a jeep
Taken and bound and found later under a tree
I wonder if he had thought the next one could be me
Do you see the soldiers they're out today
They brush the dust from bullet proof vests away
It's ironic at times like this you pray
But a bomb blew the mosque up yesterday
There's bombs in the buses, bikes, roads
Inside your market, your shops, your clothes
My dad he's got a lot of fear I know
But enough pride inside not to let that show
My brother had a book he would hold with pride
A little red cover with a broken spine
On the back, he hand-wrote a quote inside
When the rich wage war it's the poor who die
Meanwhile, the leader just talks away
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay
And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
both scared and angry like "what did he say?"
[Chorus]
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen
With hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you
With hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you
With hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you
With hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you
With hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you
With hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you
[End Chorus] |
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| weird dreams? |
[May. 22nd, 2007|02:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | MY ROOM | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired from the gym | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Public Enemy #1" - Eminem | ] |
For about the last 4 days or so now, I've been waking up between 3:30-4am. It always starts the same too. I wake up because it feels like there is an earthquake in my room, but the only thing shaking is my matress. My closet doors aren't trembling and neither is the rest of my room. I look outside and everything is quiet and peaceful. Last night was different though.
I woke up due to the imaginary earthquake and there was some sorta demon lady standing over my bed watching me. For some reason I had my blade in my hand and I freaked out swinging wildly. So then the demon lady (with fangs) told me to keep it quiet and put her hands over my face. I yelled out, "No! Don't!" and then I woke up again to the stupid imaginary earthquake in my matress. What the deuce?
I dunno. Just weird that it's happened 4 days straight now. I wonder whats goin on in this mind of mine? Prolly wouldn't freak me out as much if I didn't watch that documentary on VH1 yesterday about the last month Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez was still alive. She said she had premonitions, and that one was that there was a demon constantly pursueing her and trying to kill her. Then the whole "Vehicle she was riding in hit and killed a little boy" thing whose last name just happen to be the same as her's. That's just freaky. The whole documentary was pretty good though and opens your eyes to a lot of things. I suggest you all see it.
But yeah. Dreams. They're weird.
-End- |
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| i hate being siiiiick... |
[Mar. 14th, 2007|02:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | silence | ] |
So I've been extremely sick for about the past month now, and I don't know what the fuck it is. I've been coughin like a mad man to the point where my face is flushed and beat red. Sometimes as a result of all that coughing, my nose bleeds for 20-35 minutes. My body aches, and sometimes I have little fevers here and there. The fevers have gone away since sunday though, thank god. My throat kinda itches/tingles everytime I breath. It's a pain in the ass I tell you. I got Brandon and Erich sick for sure since Friday, and they're just as bad as I am. I went to the doc's and she told me I just had a really bad cold and gave me a bunch of fuckin claritin for it. Erich went to the doc's, and they told him he had the flu with a slight bit of bronchitus. Hopefully I can go back to the doc's tomorrow and find out what's goin on. I skipped class and work today, and it's rare for me to skip both. I just want this shit to be gone soon...
On a lighter note, I talked to Mike Serna last night about APA on Sunday and he said some pretty cool shit. He said that I do wayyyy more than any other captain that he's ever played for, and that's fuckin awesome. I thought that was fuckin cool. I'm doin a good job as captain so far, and we're only three or four weeks in. So far the standings are as follows:
1. Fuzzy Pink Slippers (3-0) with 195 points
2. Infinite.9 (2-1) with 188 points <----us
3. V.I.P. Shooters (1-2) with 176 points <-----Nova's team
4. Controlled Chaos (1-2) with 171 points <----- Erich's team
We're shooting for that number one spot. No mercy!.... but please have mercy on my health, hahah!
Alright, I'm gonna go and try to find a way to rest. PEACE! |
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| I seriously can't wait for this fuckin season to be over... |
[Feb. 9th, 2007|03:18 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | Fuck You | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "The Watcher 2" - Jay.Z, Dr Dre, Rakim | ] |
and no, I'm not talking about spring. I'm refering to the APA 9-Ball Season. The team I play for on Sunday nights.
I don't have a problem with the people, or the format, or anything really. I just don't like being the captain. No, that doesn't mean I'm not good at the leadership position. In my opinion, I'm actually quite good at it. It's just that when I lead, I don't lead to be fair. I lead to fuckin win. So let's look at the storyline...
A few months ago (more like last summer/fall), it was announced that there would be a 9-Ball league starting on Sunday nights at my place of business, High Society Billiard and Dart.It didn't go through until about November. One night while I was visiting Jason in San Diego, the league operator came in to start creating teams for this league. Somebody signed me up without me knowing. To make matters even crazier, they used my Hi-So Swordsmen team name, and appointed me captain. I didn't find out about this until roughly 3 days later. Oh, did I mention they forced one of my players to be captain of another team? Yeah... I really wanted Erich on my team too. So anyway, let's continue...
The first few weeks, we beat the 2 of the 3 teams with no problem. The only team we didn't beat was Erich's team, who also had Mike Serna on it's roster. We were doing fine really... that is until the personal rating for each player on my team started raising. The highest person on my team is my co-captain John (who is a Marine), which is at level 8. Each team can have no more than 23 team rate points each night for it to be legit and fair. Him being at an 8 makes it hard to work with. So anywayz, because of this, I've had to come up with game strategies to somehow win, while also sometimes benching other players, making us give up points for the night. We've lost many nights because of this. We're probably looking at finishing the season at .500...
So we ended up dropping from 1st place to 3rd in the last few weeks because of the whole giving up matches thing, which in turn put me through some doubting issues about being a bad team captain. Looking at the numbers, I was putting a lot of pressure on myself about being the captain I didn't choose to be. So this Sunday, we're competing for the Wild Card spot in the playoffs. We have to face the fourth place team to get a shot at Erich's team(2nd place). If we beat Erich's team, we go to the playoffs alongside the first place team.
Did I mention that I benched our strongest player last week so we wouldn't have to give up weight in the match against Erich's team? Yeah, he through a shitfit about having to drive from Camp Pendleton just to be benched, even though he was coming up to see his girlfriend anyway. I could've gotten the message to his ass if he had a damn cell phone. Oh yeah, so tonight his girlfriend came in and dropped subtle hints about playing his ass this Sunday and being fair. Okay seriously, if this was regular season, I wouldn't give a shit. The truth though, is that it's playoffs. Any Die Hard Football Fan knows that playoffs are different. The competitor in me says to go balls out and play four matches in hopes of smoking the opponents, blowing their asses into orbit. This isn't a game of fuckin scrabble or candyland. there's money involved.
I don't know why I'm ranting. I probably just needed to get this shit out.
I think I've just come to realize that when it comes to leadership and myself, I lead to get the job done and fuckin win in competition. I don't give a shit about fairness. I believe in survival of the fittest. I'm not a bad leader; I just can't lead a team that doesn't want to be led my way, hahah.
If I end up going through with this bullshit next season, and starting MY TEAM, it isn't going to be no fuckin Hi-So Swordsmen. It's going to be INFINITE.9. The team I've always been loyal to with no problems. Feels like the team I'm on now and supposedly leading is just holding me back from my potential. Stressful losing situations and drama over stupid shit is only distracting me from playing my best. I'm a winner, and that's how I play.
Maybe I was better off doin' the lonewolf thing, hahah.
Creator of INFINITE.9
-Mike/Anubis |
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| Took me a while to find it, but I did... |
[Dec. 29th, 2006|12:26 pm] |
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean, and nasty place an' no matter how tough you think you are, it'll always beat you to your knees and keep you there, permanently, if you let it. You or nobody ain't never gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! If you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits and not pointin' fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, her, or anybody! Cowards do that, and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!"
-Rocky Balboa 2006 |
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| im intoxicated, but my thoughts are clear.... |
[Nov. 19th, 2006|02:05 am] |
JOHN LEGEND LYRICS
"Coming Home"
A father waits upon a son
A mother prays for his return
I just called to see
If you still have a place for me
We know that like took us apart
But you're still within my heart
I go to sleep and feel your spirit next to me
I'll make it home again
I pray you'll fall in love again
Just say you'll entertain the possibility
I learned enough from my mistakes
Learned from all I didn't say
Won't you wait for me
It may be long to get me there
It feels like I've been everywhere
But someday I'll be coming home
Round and round the world will spin
Oh, the circle never ends
So you know that I'll be coming home
We fight to stay alive
But somebody's got to die
It's so strange to me
A new year, a new enemy
Another soldier gone to war
Another story told before
Now it's told again
It seems the wars will never end
But we'll make it home again
Back where we belong again
We're holding on to when
We used to dare to dream
We pray we live to see
Another day in history
Yes we still believe
It may be long to get me there
It feels like I've been everywhere
But someday I'll be coming home
Round and round the world will spin
Oh, the circle never ends
So you know that I'll be coming home
I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming?
You know that I'll be coming home
It may be long to get me there
It feels like I've been everywhere
But someday I'll be coming home
Round and round the world will spin
Oh, the circle never ends
So you know that I'll be coming home |
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| I'm sick |
[Sep. 30th, 2006|01:26 am] |
-left work early today because I wasn not feeling good at all.
-slept most of the day
-had dinner with my dad
-rented Lego Star Wars 2: the Original Trilogy... fun ass game
-my fuckin head is aching
-I'm going back to sleep. |
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| Tupac Shakur 10th Anniversary... |
[Sep. 14th, 2006|03:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | -silence- | ] |
I had a shitty day. I think everyone did. My dad's car broke down on the way to work in the middle of rush hour in the afternoon. I almost got into 3 fights at work, 2 with the same person. I was just keeping the peace, and if I got into any of those fights, I can tell you right now I would've done my job. Tip money sucked. Bombed my french test from last week. How the hell do I, of all people, bomb a french test? I'm a fuckin rider when it comes to french. Anywayz, this is the song I had on repeat in my car for the last half of the day. I'll end it with that.
2PAC LYRICS
"Life Goes On"
[Chorus: repeat 2X]
How many brothas fell victim to tha streetz
Rest in peace young nigga, there's a Heaven for a 'G'
be a lie, If I told ya that I never thought of death
my niggas, we tha last ones left
but life goes on.....
[Verse One:]
As I bail through tha empty halls
breath stinkin'
in my jaws
ring, ring, ring
quiet y'all
incoming call
plus this my homie from high school
he's getting bye
It's time to bury another brotha nobody cry
life as a baller
alchol and booty calls
we usta do them as adolecents
do you recall?
raised as G's
loc'ed out and blazed the weed
get on tha roof
let's get smoked out
and blaze with me
2 in tha morning
and we still high assed out
screamin' 'thug till I die'
before I passed out
but now that your gone
i'm in tha zone
thinkin'
'I don't wanna die all alone'
but now ya gone
and all I got left are stinkin' memories
I love them niggas to death
i'm drinkin' Hennessy
while tryin' ta make it last
I drank a 5th for that ass
when you passed....
cause life goes on
[Chorus]
[Verse Two:]
Yeah nigga
I got tha word as hell
ya blew trial and tha judge gave you
25 with an L
time to prepare to do fed time
won't see parole
imagine life as a convict
that's getten' old
plus with tha drama
we're lookin out for your babies mama
taken risks, while keepin' cheap tricks from gettin on her...
life in tha hood...
is all good for nobody
remember gamin' on dumb hoties at chill parties
Me and you
No true a two
while scheming on hits
and gettin tricks
that maybe we can slide into
but now you burried
rest nigga
cause I ain't worried
eyes bluried
sayin' goodbye at the cemetary
tho' memories fade
I got your name tated on my arm
so we both ball till' my dying days
before I say goodbye
Kato and Mental rest in peace
Thug till I die
[Chorus]
[Verse Three:]
Bury me smilin'
with G's in my pocket
have a party at my funeral
let every rapper rock it
let tha hoes that I usta know
from way before
kiss me from my head to my toe
give me a paper and a pen
so I can write about my life of sin
a couple bottles of Gin
incase I don't get in
tell all my people i'm a Ridah
nobody cries when we die
we outlaws
let me ride
until I get free
I live my life in tha fast lane
got police chasen me
to my niggas from old blocks
from old crews
niggas that guided me through
back in tha old school
pour out some liquor
have a toast for tha homies
see we both gotta die
but ya chose to go before me
and brothas miss ya while your gone
you left your nigga on his own
how long we mourn
life goes on...
[Chorus repeats to end]
[sung overtop repeating chorus]
Life goes on homie
gone on, cause they passed away
Niggas doin' life
Niggas doin' 50 and 60 years and shit
I feel ya nigga, trust me
I feel ya
You know what I mean
last year
we poured out liquor for ya
this year nigga, life goes on
we're gonna clock now
get money
evade bitches
evade tricks
give players plenty space
and basicaly just represent for you baby
next time you see your niggas
your gonna be on top nigga
their gonna be like,
'Goddamn, them niggas came up'
that's right baby
life goes on....
and we up out this bitch
hey Kato, Mental
y'all niggas make sure it's popin' when we get up there
don't front. |
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| I wonder... |
[Sep. 13th, 2006|02:21 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My domain | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Fake Wings" - .Hack//Sign sdtk | ] |
I played in the 8-Ball tournament tonight. There were 25 people entered tonight. Here's what happened:
-Bye
-Mike Anderson (B) vs. Mike Serna (A) - Loss 2-5
-Me (B) vs. Dagan (B) - Win 4-2
-Me (B) vs. Matt the old cocky bastard (B) - Win 4-1
-Me (B) vs. Stephanie the Sandbagger? (C) - Loss 2-4
I shouldn't have lost that last one though. Sheesh. Anywayz, I ended up with 11th place out of the 25. I know I can do better. Hopefully next time I'm able to since the last one I played in was a month or so ago. I wonder though... how would I have done if I played everyone evenly? The pros play even...
I need to win a tournament so I can get bumped up to a damn A already... |
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| "Why'd you shoot Steve?" |
[Sep. 8th, 2006|12:18 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Get it on tonight" -Montell Jordon f/ LL Cool J | ] |
Well, the past week has been such a bitch that it wasn't even funny. With that in mind, I'm just gonna bullet point it...
-Car battery + crescent wrench = $100
-Front Rotors and Brakes = $363
-Steve Foley gets shot up by off-duty SDPD
-First Traffic Ticket for rolling through a red-light (looking forward to the fuckin bill)
-Racist drunk asshole
Alright. That's good enough for the bullets. I'd like to expand on the last one though. I am not a fan of racism, or any kind of people hatred really, at all. I can tolerate it, but only for so long...
There is a person that I chill with who is a fuckin racist. Time and time again, I've told him not to do that shit in my presence. I just don't like it. period. He's actually been able to control himself too. One time he let it slip though in my place of business, and I exploded. I went off on him and gave him that stare of death. I felt bad for blowin up on my friend though, so an hour later I apologized. He said he just brushed it off like it was nothing so it was okay. Hold up. Like it was nothing? That's fuckin stupid. It's like nothing went through there. That happened a few weeks ago...
Last Sunday, we all went cosmic bowling. He was alright most of the night. I got my ass kicked by the way, which was alright with me. I'm just not a bowler, and I've accepted that. Well, towards the end of the night, I kicked the shit out of him in Madden '07. Chargers vs. Patriots.
He passed out, so I took the pictures cuz he couldn't finish the game. I was the Chargers, by the way. Anywayz, throughout the game, he was just an asshole. Making racist comments here and there, I ignored them because I knew he was drunk. Then he started talking crap to a real close friend of ours who was there watching us play madden. Our friend is a pretty artsy guy, an architect in study. I truly value his friendship. Well, he ended up calling him a fag just because he likes art. I replied, "Hey. I like art. What's wrong with art?" He just continued to be an asshole, so I continued to put more points on the board. I dunno. I was just fuckin pissed. I crashed at 230am because I wasn't safe to drive. I set my alarm for 6am, and got the fuck out of there. Left my beer and rolled out. I'm sorry, but I'm done dealing with that shit. Homeboy can fuckin chill again when he changes his attitude. I'm fuckin done.
I don't need people like that in my life. I don't think anyone does. People like that can only bring the world down in the long run. All that negativity is pointless.
So yeah, I had a pretty shitty week. I literally declared "End of Week" yesterday. I called up Jason, and pretty much just vented. We both could relate on that whole traffic ticket thing. Jason said the next time he gets pulled over, he's gonna ask the officer one thing: "Why'd you shoot Steve?" From that point on, I've been all fuckin good. Thank you Jason. I'm glad you're my best friend.
But let us not forget... Fuck Racism, and all other kinds of hatred towards any sort of mankind. We're all human. That's all there is to it. |
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| I haven't typed in here in forever and a day.... |
[Jul. 31st, 2006|12:36 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my dark and humid room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "The Rain Don't Last Forever" - Hope | ] |
I apologize for that. Guess I haven't been doing so because I haven't really had anything bad on my mind that I had to get out. If I did, I always vented to April about it, and even then, I don't think there was really anything to vent about. So what brings me out of hiding on this rare and special occassion one might ask?
My fuckin knee. Yeah, the same one... the left one. I arranged a tackle football game today that I had planned for a few weeks now. Of the 18 or so people scheduled to come out, only of them, including myself, came to play. Hector and I were warming up for a couple hours and we finally decided to start the game. I should've known it was an omen when one guy tackled me from behind to prevent me from stopping stefan's touchdown. I thought that omen was cancelled out though when I blasted him while playing defense. Apparently I was wrong...
I was playing linebacker spying the QB (who was all-timing it) because everyone else was covered. He threw an easy pick right down the middle. So I jumped up to get it and that's when it turned tragedy. Mike Flores, who was also on my team, had the same idea view on the interception, so he went up to get it too. I think I was in mid-air before he was so he unintentionally knocked me from the side. On the way down, my cleats caught into the grass and held my leg straight while I fell sideways. I heard a series of pops go off and lay there on the ground for a good few minutes. Everyone was standing around me wondering how bad it really was. I already knew I wouldn't play football again.
So everyone crutched me back to the tree that April, Chelle, and Ashly were sitting under in which I then had ice on my knee. The only thing going through my head was the chance of getting into the Navy going down close to zero. The Navy... the future career I was gonna have that was going to give me some travel while I served my country and provided my future family with a safe and secure future. I was already seeing everything fade. Bah! So everyone went to go play basketball while Chelle went to get April's car. I stood there by the street with April and said the only thing I could say, "I'm sorry." It was seriously that scene in Cinderella Man where he breaks his wrist and loses his boxing license, and then comes home to his wife feeling like a failure. I'm still sorry about it, but I can't let her see me down though. I don't want her to worry about it. I just gotta come up with another plan.
She nursed me until about 3pm. She wouldn't let me leave the couch for a thing. I felt bad being so helpless. Later in the day I made it up to my room, recieving phone calls from my Mom and Dad seperately. They're still in Indiana on vacation. It seemed like my Mom was more mad because I wasn't taking proper care of myself, but geez, I was wearing the knee brace that was supposed to make it impossible for my knee to go out again. My Dad seemed more like I was, he just didn't show it. He just asked what happened, and said motrin and ice, and then asked me about how everything else in life was going. He also said we'll talk more about the knee when they get back this week. I hope he can help me come up with a good back-up plan.
I've seriously been thinking about this all day: Why didn't my knee brace protect me? I investigated it a few hours ago, and it didn't seem like anything was broken on it that would cause me to fall and bend the way I did. So then I started thinking about that old saying that I never really believed in:"All things happen for a reason." What was the reason behind this? To prevent me from going into the military? To ensure that I go further into my education that previously planned? I really can't find an answer. I mean, I believe in Karma. I think I'm a good-natured individual who tries to do right when I can. Is karma going to play a role in the reasons behind this downfall? Why? I just want to know why.
I hope my knee becomes walkable on by tomorrow night. I told Kelly I wouldn't call in because I know it's going to be supremely busy. Hell, I called in tonight, but I couldn't help how much pain my knee was in. Sheesh. Why do I feel like I let everybody down?
I need to come up with a solid plan outside of the Navy, and fast. As far as my knee goes, I just signed up for the new gym that opened up down the street last week. Maybe in a few weeks, I'll be able to do some minor rehab on it or something.
To those I've let down, I'm truly sorry. I should've been so much stronger. Take my word though, I'M NOT GOING TO LET THIS GET ME DOWN.
#53 is retired. I'm just Anubis now.
Be Seein Ya |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2006|03:57 am] |
| [ | music |
| | "Loser" - Three Doors Down (acoustic) | ] |
dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot fuck. |
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| I like this song... |
[May. 20th, 2006|02:24 pm] |
I picked up the Jamie Foxx album yesterday, and it's pretty damn good. Anyway, I thought this song was awesome. It's straight up piano and vocals...
JAMIE FOXX LYRICS
"Heaven"
Tell me have you heard the story
That took place not long ago
Bout an angel up in heaven
They say she up and ran away from home
Word is she had unfinished business
So back on earth she had to flea
Well you know I'm so elated
Because she's laying right here next to me
And when God woke up that morning
And he called out her name
And when she did not answer
Heaven will never ever ever be
Heaven will never be the same
[Background Vocal:] Never be the same [2x]
Always dreamed that it would happen
I just didn't know exactly when
All my life I'd been waiting for something amazing
Said it took a while but now I know
So tell me can I get a witness
If you believe in miracles
And the proof I have is living
And my life will never ever be
And your life don't have to be the...
At times it seems we take for granted
How precious life can be
Just hold on and I'm sure you'll understand it
Bringing into this world
A precious boy or girl...And when God woke up that morning
Said where has my little angel gone
And when she didn't an...answer
Heaven will never ever ever be
Heaven will never be the....same
Yeah....Yeah |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 18th, 2006|10:01 am] |
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I'm so tired. Sometimes 5 hours of sleep just doesn't cut it. Back to work I go... |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 13th, 2006|04:36 pm] |
Damn I got a good deal these babies. Hope momma and gramz likes 'em though.... |
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| grrr |
[May. 9th, 2006|02:34 am] |
As much as I want to, I still can't sleep.
p.s. Mission Impossible 3 was an awesome fuckin movie! |
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| Now that that is over.... |
[May. 7th, 2006|04:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  refreshed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Hey There Delilah" - Plain White T's | ] |
Last night was Chop's Goin Away Party and it was awesome. Yes. Awesome. We went from bbqing burgers and hotdogs, cookin pizza, playing poker, watching the St. Valentine's Day Massacre (now on dvd), playing a drinking game in accordance to Shaun of the Dead, chillenz, drunk Halo 2, drunk Madden, to sleeping. We drank: 18 - 22oz bottles of Fat Tire, Cranberry Chamborge (in the Baine's honor of course), a load of jager bombs, some marguaritas, and some wine. Well, that's all I drank anyway. There were plenty more. Yep, we drank until 6am like I proclaimed I would, and that was the evening. It was a really good night that I needed for quite a while. Dang that was crazy, and random, and excellent.
But now that that is all over, I'm starting over fresh for the next few months. With a nice shower and good clean shave, I'm a new man again. No more partying up for awhile. Gonna limit the drinking to close to zilch. Gonna start training for my fight in August. I'm gonna train Brandon as well, since him and another friend have decided to be a fight as well before me and paul's fight that night. I want to learn new things as well. I want to get better with my guitar, but I also want to learn how to play the paino. Maybe I'll pick up a small keyboard or something once I figure out how to get a grasp of it. Also gonna keep working on the comic project and avoid trashing it. I've put way too much in to stop now. This time, I plan to not hide behind my castle walls though. I think I'll let the bridge down and step out for awhile. Wander from town to town, just seeing whats out there, while staying on course of course. I also want to spend more time with my family, and give them a little more attention then my friends around here. I look forward to the upcoming APA season too. I'm not going out there to have a good time and ish... I'm going out there to collect some heads and see if my pool skills are really worthy. See what I got, so to speak. My new cue is beautiful and I'll do what I can to bring it victory.
Life is weird, but maybe that's where I've gone wrong before. I need to expect it's weirdness and just go with it for once instead of trying to go against the grain.
-Wooden Grain:Life Theory
I thought of a good perspective, but it's complicated to try and explain.
That's it for now. Time to keep up with the optimism and not let anything get me down.
Be Seein Ya,
Anubis |
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| random funny thought |
[Apr. 20th, 2006|01:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Bittersweet Symphony" -The Verve | ] |
You know how the Great Wall of China is the biggest manmade structure and can be seen from Outer Space? Well, what if during my time...
I created a structure of stone, much like China's Great Wall, but instead of it being some big wall it was a message. Some random alien space craft, or some space station is just floating there orbitting around the earth, and they see the words "FUCK YOU." in the biggest stone font possible. That would end up with me either being the most loved, or the most hated by The People.
hah hah hahhhhhh... |
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| What does it mean? |
[Apr. 20th, 2006|12:57 am] |
So I accidently took a one hour nap today after I came home from school, but I didn't want to. That's beside the point though. During this nap, I had this dream. It was a weird dream:
I, Anubis, was running down a dark hallway. It was like the final scene in my storyline where this huge battle is going on and all of the main characters are seperated fighting their own personal fights. It was my turn to find my enemy. Of course, I had already fought with a quite a few people, so I was running down this hallway with blood flowing down my left arm, and my sword drawn in my right hand. There were marks all over my face with blood, and my eyes were wincing in pain. I kept running down this dark tunnel though. I approached the end of it and there was a door with the words, "Enter the Forsaken. Ye Not Guilty." tagged up on it. I was running full force and kicked the door down and entered eagerly. I looked around, and it was a like a war-torn urban city. The skies were red, and there buildings that looked like they were bombed. There was only person there though. "Her".... Nikkie. I stopped in shock, expecting a load of people to rush me, but there was just silence. She looked at me with those deep eyes, but didn't say a thing. I did not approach her, nor did I drop my blade. I said one thing, and one thing only: "Why?" She stood there maintaining her silence for 2 minutes. 2 minutes of silence is a long time between two people. Then without warning, she threw some of my throwing knives at me. She got me too, in the shoulders and in my left arm. I dropped my blade and began to fall to my back. But instead of falling onto my back on the dirty streets...
...I fell onto my mattress. I was in my room, and it was dark. It was one of those dreams in dreams. So I sat up quickly in a cold sweat, but I for some reason had no energy. So instead of sitting straight up, I fell over onto the floor, leaning against my tv. Then a man walked into my room. He walked in slow motion (after-image affect and all) to my computer chair. I couldn't move. I was stuck on the floor. As I struggled, he turned in my chair to face me. Then he stood up, pulled out a pistol, and shot me in the chest.
At this time, Cowboy James was calling me to come chill. I woke up from this weird dream, scared as shit, making sure I can move. It was still daytime so my room was still bright. So seriously....
"What the fuck is this shit?"
Please, by all means, leave a comment and let me know what you think it all means. I sure as hell can't figure it out. |
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